The Cyclical Impact of Major Life Changes and Being Organized

​It can be easy to dive into a shame spiral when we look around and realize that our home is messy. Maybe you don’t even know where the stuff came from, whose it is, or what the intent was in bringing it around. So often the state of homes changes wildly with a major life change—think a new baby, chronic illness, divorce, marriage, or cross-country move. We acquire things or purge things or change storage systems, or just try to get through each day. And before we know it our belongings aren’t our priority any more. So in this week’s episode I’m going to talk about the cyclical impact of major life changes and being organized have on each other—and a few actionable steps you can take to manage overwhelm in these major life moments.

​So when I say that major life changes and being organized have a cyclical impact on each other, what I mean is that one directly affects the other, which in turn affects our ability to manage and cope with the transitions of the first. If we take someone whose home was never organized and watch them move through divorce proceedings, the division of assets is going to be notably more difficult, because simply finding what each person has at any given point is going to be challenging. The challenge created within the division of assets creates stress and potentially conflict within the divorce process, which steals the energy of the parties involved. So, in building a new home from half of the communal possessions they once had, they over-spend and over-shop to try to ease their stress, resulting in more disorganization. While yes, papers will be eventually signed, and this season of life will pass, the narrative could be wildly different.

​Say we put someone whose home is highly organized in the scenario of going through a divorce. Both parties’ belongings are systematized into what they actually love and use before the decision is even reached. When it comes time to divvy belongings, everything is clear cut—because it’s already been managed in the first place. The former couple is able to have a clear, concise discussion about shared assets instead of having to trudge through what belongs to whom, resulting in greater cooperation and more energy to navigate the many other difficult conversations. They’re able to get lower rates while moving because they can accurately determine how much stuff needs to be moved, and settling into a new home is simple and easy, resulting in reduced stress. 

​So often when we talk about being organized, we speak about it from a perspective of morality. “Organized” means “Good,” and “Disorganized” means “Bad.” I don’t agree with this labeling on any level. Instead, what I typically associate with disorganized is stressed, overwhelmed, and unsupported, while organized people tend to have a greater capacity to manage their time, connect with others, and see that their belongings are actually there to serve them. Good people go through difficult things, and their organization systems that are established before especially difficult times hit typically have a major impact on their ability to navigate those changes.

​So what do we do about it? I’m going to give you three ideas for action steps you can take TODAY to streamline a system in your life—when you have capacity to do so. These aren’t something to add to your already overwhelmed to-do list. Instead, focus on which of these would alleviate something on your to-do list, freeing up your capacity to devote energy to your stressors as needed.

​Number 1: Dinner, Dishes, and Dirty Laundry

​I heard this tip on the Sorta Awesome podcast a few years ago, and it has been life changing for me. When we’re in a season of overwhelm, letting everything go except dinner, dishes, and dirty laundry is okay. I want to flip that and encourage you to pick one of these fundamental chores that you hate doing and determine if you can streamline your system and organize it 1% better. Perhaps that means organizing your pantry by food group, putting your laundry products in the order that you use them, or setting “bussing bins” in each of the kids’ rooms for them to empty any dirty dishes from around the house after dinner into the sink. Don’t try and fix the whole thing—just make one part of your organizing system a little bit better.

​Number 2: Streamline Your Paper

​I’ve recently started to go absolutely crazy about the amount of paper I’m receiving with regard to parenting and childbirth. While I deeply want all of the information, it means that I’m having to make decisions about what to keep and what to toss paper-wise, constantly. One step that I’ve taken is requesting digital copies as often as possible, because I already have systems in place to store those items. But whatever your life change, reducing the amount of paper in your home can be life changing! If you don’t have a paper management system in place, or if yours isn’t serving you, I would strongly recommend checking out our eBook, Pile to File, where I outline how to make decisions about what papers to keep, what to toss, and how to keep it in check over time. That way, when you need your birth certificate or the title of your car or the medical records for your cat that the veterinarian you’ve been seeing for 6 years lost, you don’t lose valuable time searching for it.

​Number 3: Transform One Small Space

​There really is something therapeutic about the act of organizing when you’re in the midst of chaos. I attribute it to the fact that you can visually see the impact of your work. In so many aspects of life, the things we do drag on, or we don’t see immediate results, and it can be really disheartening. So sometimes it can be deeply healing to turn on the music we listened to as teenagers and organize our closet by color or alphabetize our spices. I’m talking about tackling an organizing project that takes an hour or less, literally so you can see the result of your effort and pat yourself on the back for being amazing. Because you are.

​I hope that these tips and considerations help you prepare for or manage life’s tricky times a little better! I always love to hear what’s working for you and how you’re organizing, so feel free to send me an email at hello@sortorganizationservices.com and let me know how you use these tips in your home.